A Walk of Faith

The Oxford English Dictionary says discernment is ‘the ability to judge well’.

The Holman Christian Standard Bible gives an idea of how to discern the will of God: “Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God.” (Romans 12:2)

The New International Version (NIV) translation changes ‘discern’ to ‘test and approve’: “Do not conform to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

For the purposes of this musing, I am running with the fact that discerning is about the ability to judge well. When this is in the life of a Christian, I am suggesting there will likely be (because of Romans 12:2) an understanding that the ability to discern the will of God is also linked with the transformation of the mind (or of our thinking).

Before we go any further, I have a question. (I often have a question, or two questions, or more than two. 🤷🏻‍♀️) It might be necessary that I precursor my question with a health warning as I am aware I’m about to rant.

When did discerning the will of God become something that was elitist, or for those who are deemed holiest (either in their own eyes or are those are judged as ‘holiest’ by others), or for those who have a rank within the church hierarchy, or for those who have the best data concerning being accurate when their prophecies come to ‘be’ real in life? When did that shift begin?

Don’t get me wrong, I realise not all Christians do this, but I am struggling with the (sometimes) tendency to overly spiritualise that which need not be overly spiritualised alongside the tendency to sort of make an idol of something that was designed to help us, not trip us up. Even worse (in my eyes) is when the person who has been evidenced (supposedly) as having great discernment (as if it were a fixed state somehow) is then elevated as one who has greater insight of ‘all things God’. Well, sorry, when we get to that position (and sometimes we are there as a Christian collective), I’m done. I can’t be doing with it.

In case it wasn’t obvious, this has become another one of those allergies I seem to have developed about what some Christians do to stuff that doesn’t need messing with.

The aim of this musing is simple (and complex, potentially): To attempt to clear up some of the mystification around ‘spiritual discernment’.

I am of the following beliefs:

• All humans are made in the image of God.
• All humans (whether aware of it or not) can discern, which will inevitably be through their own ‘life-lens’.
• All Christians (by the fact they too are human) can discern, which will likely be through their ‘life-lens’ and their ‘Christian-walk-so-far’ lens. (This is beginning to sound like a weird optician retail outlet. 🙈)
• There is nothing mystical about discernment.
• Whether or not we choose to be led by our discernment is an individual matter that concerns no one else.

I am very sure that all people have an inner discernment guide function. I believe it was given to us for a reason. I believe the reason we have it is so we have the choice to use it (or not) for some of the time, or for all the time (but I am VERY sure no one does that) or very rarely. It is just a choice. We have free will. We get to choose. At every decision point (great and small – if indeed they come is size varieties) we get to choose. This process happens in an on-going kind of way if we choose to go about life like that. The shocking things are these:

• We will not be loved any less by God whatever we decide or discern at any decision point. I believe that would be an impossible outcome.
• God will be no less with us or ‘for us’ whatever we decide or discern at any decision point.
• We are no more or less in or out of God’s will for our lives whatever we have actioned following whatever we felt we discerned if we have chosen to be His, because (quite simply) we are His wherever we are, doing whatever we are doing.

Let’s back-track a little.

What do I mean by discernment (and within this exists spiritual discernment, but I’m intentionally not calling it that)? I mean that pull of knowing if an action we’re about to make is a wise one or not? We all know that leaning and how it feels. Following awareness of that ‘leaning’, the choice is (every single time) whether we follow the leaning or whether push against it. And God knows that about us. He knows what we’re like. He knows we are fundamentally children who will test boundaries and cross them as we wander in and out of places that will do us good and others that might harm us. He knows that. This is not a surprise to God – of this I am very sure.

Is it any different a process when it has something to do with our walk of faith? Of course not. It’s the same. If God is everywhere present (which I believe He is) and if everything of everything is in some way connected (and I believe it is), there is no thing, or action, or mindset, or combination of words, or decision that is any more ‘spiritual’ than any other, is there?

When Christians talk about a ‘calling’, (which they ‘heard’ through their ‘discernment’) all they are saying is that they had an inner ‘drive’, a ‘pull towards’, a ‘passion for’ living their life in a particular way as God’s child. They (in the most authentic of cases) have had some level or other of the fact that they are God’s, that God loves them irrespective of what they do or don’t do and that they want to live a life with Him and for Him as they love others. They felt God might be asking them (or more, was presenting them the option) of taking on a particular role where they wanted to serve others as His.

It wasn’t (in most cases) that Angel Gabriel landed in Ethel’s living room in front of the TV while she was watching Eastenders (😱) and declared in a deep and booming voice, “Ethel, I am calling you to become a priest in a Church of England Church (Gabriel pauses and thinks aloud to himself…or maybe He told me to tell you to join the Baptists…I’ll check…returning to the booming voice) and you are to begin your studies to lead up to this during the next academic year.” I’m not denying that could happen, but I am suggesting it isn’t the usual way of one being led by their spiritual discernment (if we must give it an adjective) or just discernment if we can cope without the need to specify it’s spiritual, in an effort to somehow add weight.

Some have believed they were in the ‘centre of God’s will’ at some point in their lives because it all felt right and seemed to be going well and people around them seemed to be approving of what they were doing. Grrrrrr! It’s nonsense. For that season, that may well have been the ‘centre of God’s will’, but so is the place they serve now, amidst troubles, attack and stress.

I have spent most of my Christian life beating myself up about how my walk seems, or how it is judged by others, or what is acceptable to say and what is (apparently) not, or how my experience of it has been (as if this were somehow connected to whether I was in God’s will or not), or questioning whether I am a ‘disappointment’ to God. I’ve stopped that nonsense now.

What do I believe is important to God? I believe my authenticity is what matters to Him. Being who I am and not presenting who I think I should be. True authenticity. The Dawn who forgets what she knows of God (that being the truth that He ‘is’) and allows herself to panic and doesn’t try to hide her panic. The Dawn who battles with her own autistic head and goes off down routes that are unnecessary even though she knows it’s futile and is harming her. There is nothing about Dawn (or you, for that matter) that is going to surprise or alarm God. He knows us better than we know ourselves, I reckon. Nothing we do or say or action. We’re learning as we go and we’re likely to choose to learn from our mistakes and mess ups. Okay. Good. Best get on with it. 🤷🏻‍♀️

If it is true that our authenticity with God and before God matters to Him (and you’ll have to decide what you think, I can only just about sometimes manage my own head), then maybe we need to remember that He gave us various tools for us to explore in our lives not expecting us to do the best things with them. It is my belief that discernment is one of those ‘tools’.

Will we ever fully understand how it works? I doubt it.

Will we always follow the wisest ‘leaning’ or ‘pull’ we experience in our inner beings? I doubt that too.

Your discernment as a Christian (for those who do believe ‘He is’) is not a thing that is accessible only once a certain level of maturity has been attained. Sorry, but it’s not. Please don’t make it that. It isn’t something to make a kind of idol out of or so you can ‘pat yourself on the back’ for reaching those dizzy heights of being allowed into the discernment club. It is a gift and all humans have it…maybe (she wonders) since the Garden of Eden experience (whatever you think of about that).

Whoever you are and whatever you believe, you do discern (whether you believe in God or not). You have an inner barometer that leads and guides and it was a gift for you to explore. You use it however you like, or you can push against what it says as much as you like. He won’t love you any less whatever processes you think you need to go through to check it all out. How do I know? I’ve tested it. Repeatedly and intentionally. The results are (so far) that whatever I’ve done with the discernment I have (in terms of decisions or actions made or not) in my heart of hearts I know (in my ever-transforming mind) that He 'is'. I know that I am. And those two things are for me inseparable. So, I must be (and am) His. Simple. Kinda. And while that’s true, I intend to keep exploring this discernment gift.

… do not be conformed to this world [any longer with its superficial values and customs], but be ^[c]transformed and progressively changed [as you mature spiritually] by the renewing of your mind [focusing on godly values and ethical attitudes], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His plan and purpose for you]. (Romans 12:2, Amp)