Sometimes, Do We Need to Simply Shut Up?
Doesn’t it (the Bible) repeatedly tell us (among the many lessons it offers if we want to learn from it) to just shut up?
“…a fool’s voice is known by multitude of words.” Ecclesiastes 5:3
“When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable, but he who restrains his lips is wise.” Proverbs 10:19
Those verses are two biblical examples to back up my response of “Yes, I think it does” to the title of (potentially) too many words. Is it true? Is it a demonstration of foolishness to use too many words? Increasingly (which is an interesting concept when I write as much as I do), I am wondering if we just all need to shut up. If not to shut up for all time, just to shut up for some of the times we breathe and have life.
I try (and often fail…but I try nevertheless) to avoid gross generalisations and overstatements. Whilst attempting to maintain the effort of not over-generalising, the following statements will undoubtedly not apply to all human life forms but will (I am very sure) apply to most human life forms.
Statement number one: Everyone has an opinion, whether they voice it or not. Even as a selective mute child, I had internal opinions…although none of these would have ever been shared with another human. Never. That aside, whether expressed or not, humans hold many opinions about many matters.
To add to those opinions that we have internally developed (and then usually hold tightly to), there is a follow-on potential fact: In our own minds, we are right. It doesn’t matter how much our view differs to that of another because clearly, obviously and blatantly we are right, and they are wrong. It is obvious. In our own mind, it is a simple truth, isn’t it?
And for most of the time in most situations, we’re all doing that, aren’t we? All of us. It doesn’t take a genius to discover this all falls apart quite quickly. If I am right in my mind and you are right in your mind, we are either both right but for different reasons, or one is right and the other wrong or we are both wrong…or there is another alternative that I’ll get to.
Sometimes we will overtly state to others how right our rightness is and other times we will think it internally whilst either seeing no point in sharing it because we know we won’t be heard or not having the energy or motivation to try to explain why we are right.
Whichever route we follow, we hold onto the fact (internally, if not externally) that we ‘know’ that we are ‘right’. Oh my. We do that. We all do that.
We judge, we comment on, we notice, we share with others and we convince ourselves and sometimes try to convince those around us that we have some ‘right’ in what we believe or think about whatever or whoever.
We perceive that those who are (as we judge them) ‘less enlightened’ can’t see it, don’t we? If we’re being gracious (in our own eyes), we hope that as they become more enlightened (or equivalent) they too will see it as we do, because we are ‘right’. We seem (the more I look) to hold onto the fact that we are right as tightly as we can. We attempt to block out or reject ideas that might present an alternative status (i.e. that we might not be ‘right’) through reasoned logic (as we perceive it) or by some other means.
Why do we do that?
Is it to help ourselves feel that we are not lesser than others around us? It is an interesting avenue to walk…and it potentially reveals more about what is going on internally in us than many of us are comfortable to look at and that’s okay…but probably, partly we demonstrate our rightness to have a sense of being worth something. This is probably true for most of us for most of the time.
However self-confident a person may seem, there will be a measure of underlying (even hidden from themselves) self-doubt or a sense of lack or a nagging internal notion of not being good enough that is effectively driving their behaviours and words and ways. Does the promotion of our own ‘rightness’ help (as a kind of counterbalance) that sense of lack or sense of insecurity? I think we’d like it to achieve that aim, but I’m not so sure it does achieve it. Weird. Not weird.
Statement number two: Everyone has the need to comment. Topics are vastly varied and those that seem to get the most traction are those that concern things that affect the lives of many individuals. To have a popular message one needs to present one’s material in a popular way about a popular topic or a current popular focus or something that grasps the interest of ‘the many’.
Do we, by feeling the need to comment in whatever way about whatever, really believe that what we are saying is adding value or weight or is benefitting the greater cause or the greater good? Maybe we do. Maybe sometimes we do benefit the greater good. Maybe sometimes that is what is happening. Maybe too, we are feeling the need to comment on whatever so that we feel we are being are ‘heard’. Maybe by being ‘heard’ it makes our internal selves feel more visible to others. Maybe it gives a sense of connectivity to other human life forms. Maybe we are seeking alliance with other humans so that we feel less alone or separate from what we think we are seeing going on in the world or in the lives of others. Maybe the need to comment is to try to join ourselves to some of that so we sense that truly we do belong.
He said this. She said that. They said the other. Okay. I think this. They think that. She thinks the other. I believe this. She algins with that. He is connected to the other. Okay. Let’s do that. Okay.
One little thing about all this bothers me (that previous bit comes with a gross understatement alert, by the way).
You do belong. Without any comment, any view, any opinion, any status, any following or any visible link with anything or anyone. You do already belong. There is no need to fight to belong. By your very existence, you do belong. As do I. Do I have to remind myself of that frequently? Yes. Does it seem like I belong to anything at all sometimes? No, I often feel totally isolated from all. But how it seems is not how it is. By being alive and by being human I do belong.
I am connected to other humans by being another human, as are you. We belong to and are a part of all that is life on this planet. We belong. I think I am right about this, but then we’re then back to statement one and you may disagree and believe I am wrong in my statement of what I perceive is right.
Because this piece is written for the walk of faith section, and because I want to make sure I don’t end up with effectively a three-point sermon, I’m going to stop at two points for your consideration, should you choose to consider what I have written. This is not for any other reason than ‘just because’. Or is it to attempt to be just a tiny bit ‘different’ from what is experienced in the generally common practise of sermon delivery? Is there a need in us all to be just a little bit different from everyone else? Does that give us a place? Does that mean we can exist knowing we’re not just exactly as anyone else? And to be fair, we can make our behaviours and ways seems as different as we choose to in any situation and at any time. No problem. It doesn’t change the fact that we are already unique and therefore ‘different’.
We can forge links with groups or individuals who we perceive to be on the edges or at the extremes, so we can distance ourselves from the non-real and non-existent ‘norm’. And if that helps us feel we have an identity that is otherwise not visible enough to us, no problem. We can do that. Or we can be unique and different without that because anyway, whatever we do, whoever we align with, whatever we comment on, whatever our opinion, as a human life form, we are ‘different’. It’s all by design, isn’t it? And yet we use words in a plethora of ways to force our difference, our views, our beliefs on a world drowning in words and mixed messages.
Even for those who do not believe ‘God is’ or that He is our Creator, a human is an individual who might share traits and ways with others but who will never ever be the same in all aspects of who they are. Whether believe in God or not, there is a human need to belong, to have a place and to be of worth.
We talk, we comment, we have views and opinions which we share. Fine. We potentially do this to get others to say they agree with us and therefore this proves we are ‘right’ which elevates ourselves in our own mind’s eye, doesn’t it? We frequently join in with the never-ending cacophony of words spoken for all manner of reasons and bolstered by all kinds of underlying intent as we all drown in the noise of what becomes (effectively) meaningless.
I will still use words because I process and learn more about the world and self through that use of words. I know that will happen…at least for such a time as this. We need words to interact and to live. I can see that. There is a time to speak and a time to be silent. I can see that.
I can also see that it is wisdom woven with the pages of the Bible to tell us that also, it is wise to sometimes simply shut up.
Sometimes
We
Could
Just
Shut
Up