To Be or Not To Be? (Part A)
Maybe it is time to be here. Right here, right now. To be. Maybe.
In our own existence and alongside those with whom we share the planet, is there not a lot of searching? Searching for identity, searching for belonging, searching for purpose, searching for comfort or wealth, searching for perceived success, searching for meaning. Searching for that which can seem illusive or is always seemingly just past the edge of our stretched-out fingertips.
Is that what we’re all doing in our own ways and from within our own contexts? Searching. What is the point? Where is the meaning or purpose in our existence? God? Is He? Where is He? Why do things happen? Do we have a place within it all that is about just us?
The questions go on and on and on and cover all manner of topics and subject matter both within and without any belief about God, within and outside the universe and concerning our place in it
I am wondering if when we scale it all back to the very bare bones of it, are we asking similar questions to each other that fundamentally seek the same (for want of a better word) ‘answer’? Do I belong? Is there a place for me?
The answer to that is a simple one – but only in my ‘now’ is that a simple one.
Yes. You belong.
Yes. There is a place for you.
You’re already in it. Just as you are. Where you are. Right in this moment. The answer is, yes. You belong, you have a place, significant value, and a fully unique identity no matter what you have or haven’t done and no matter how your life looks in this very moment. I realise that may jar for some in their context of now. Others may know it is true. Neither position is better or worse than the other and neither position alters the truth within it.
Two things before I go further. Firstly, I am Dawn. Secondly, God is. It is from these starting points that I write.
Why did I put myself first? Simple. If I wasn’t here, I’d not ‘be’ and so I’d have no need to discover or to know that God is.
With slightly more contextual padding but without exploring too far into the thoughts I bring for your consideration, I have spent the largest part of my life actively involved in churches. I have been taught lessons and heard sermons that are rooted in the scripture, alongside, I can now see, messages that have less biblical grounding. I have been influenced by a few who have more of a grip on who they are in God. I have also been influenced by the broken and the confused and these encounters have been in some ways the most revelatory about myself, about life and about who I believe to be God in my ever-shifting perception of Him. This is a process that will likely never end, and I believe needs never to end or reach any kind of conclusion.
Until I am truly aware that I do not know (whatever the knowing is about, especially in relation to God), I am lost. BY being lost, I am less lost. That is what I think currently. And I am finding this to be quite marvellously liberating. But this is not as a result of my engagement with any collective of those who also believe God is, it has happened outside of all of that.
In churches, there have been many over the years who (in their minds) have known better than me, who have (in their minds) seen more clearly than me, who have (in their minds) understood more than those in other churches or denominations and who realise they (in their minds) are closer to God (as if that were something that is even possible). Who is to judge or know what is known, or seen, or understood? Individuals (I include myself) will, I realise, but it might be questionable stance to take.
If God is (and I believe He is) then He is as He says He is and as the Bible says He is (which I also believe to be true) which means He is everywhere present. So, that must mean that there is no place where He is more or less present. There is no person to whom He is closer than any other person (whether they acknowledge His existence or not) and everywhere present means, at least to my brain, everywhere present. Does that mean everything should be how we as individuals think it should be in any place at any given time? How can it? We humans are stumbling along finding a way as we go and we will only ever see in part and know in part and prophesy in part, so who would any of us be to determine how things should or shouldn’t be? But if God’s proximity is a non-negotiable (and I believe it is), then He is present within all and at all times.
If we are God's, do we need to spend a large part of our lives seeking out where we belong, or is the challenge more about accepting that we do? Possibly the latter (I'm working on it). Does God require us to be like those around us within churches or wherever we are or is it more about us learning to be who we were created to be? Today, I think it is more about the latter, despite the pressure felt to conform, even within Christian communities. I have more thoughts about that and they will follow in Part B.
Learning to 'be'. There's a thing.