Day for Mothers – Here We Go Again…(She’s Going to Rant)
I said quite a bit concerning these ‘special days’ when it was the Day for Fathers last year, but the thing is bubbling again. And I guess there is a slightly different weighting to this one as me going on about the Day for Fathers is relevant to me in that I have one, but I am not one. However, concerning the Day for Mothers, I have one AND I am one. So, are my views different now it ‘should’ (or could) be all about me (and my mum)? Um. Easy. No. My views remain unaltered.
(Btw, I’m not writing Mothers’ Day because of the apostrophe issue. If it’s about all mothers everywhere, my ‘apostrophisation’ (new word? Not sure…) is correct. If it’s about my mother, it is incorrect. So rather than debate or be misleading or confusing, it shall be referred to here as the Day for Mothers (capitalisation my own). I’m pleased we’ve cleared that up. It is a different approach to the one I used regarding fathers and their day.)
Thank the good Lord that I have the son I have. I am relieved and delighted that I do (for oh so many reasons) but one of them was his message to me earlier in the week (this, at time of writing, being the week approaching the Day for Mothers).
Amidst other communications he wrote “…also, me getting you a Mother’s Day card represents the end, right? Which I don’t want to do.” I replied that I’m his mum “…on each day and it’s the best thing in the world ever on every day and I hate those stupid days that are supposed to be special days so yes…please don’t.” I admit my reply was possibly a bit cringe, but also true…and I often maybe over-do-it in some contexts (that comes with a gross understatement alert) but all that aside, that was the exchange. So that’s that. Job done. The Day for Mothers is done between my son and me. What an actual relief!
I do understand the intent was for good when this was ‘invented’ by whoever can claim fame for doing so. It was a time to show appreciation for ‘mum’ and all she does/has done. But (…this is a heads up…maybe buckle up…) what about when the appreciation isn’t shown in a way ‘mum’ can appreciate? Or when ‘mum’ has gone elsewhere on this Earth or into a whole other place beyond? Or when a person isn’t a ‘mum’ and wants nothing more than to be? Or when ‘mum’ has fallen out with son/daughter over whatever whenever? Or when son/daughter has been a bit absent and has neglected ‘mum’? What about when there is an expectation by ‘mum’ and it’s radically missed by son or daughter? What about when something special is planned and it rains/snows/there is an earthquake/war? We could go on forever, but I think I’ve got other (possibly more productive) things to do with my life than to find a whole load more reasons (and there will be so many more without needing to look far) why this day isn’t what it was maybe intended to be and why it's just (all views my own) a bad idea and is harder for most than it would be if it wasn’t (as in, if it didn’t exist). So. That.
Good.
Did I send my mum a card? I did. Mum is different to me (in some ways, obviously, and we’re similar in others…but this is a ‘we are different’ one), and I know she loves a card. She knows I love her on all days, and she knows I do something in recognition of the Day for Mothers each year. Is she demanding about it? Absolutely not. Are her expectations of me too high? Um. No. She’s been my mum for 50 years and so she (like all mums everywhere) has learnt on the job (in the context of our family) that my sister and I are not going to get everything ‘right’ (if such a thing actually exists…and I’m not sure it does, but that’s a different discussion point) and sometimes we might not be the perfect children (added to the one in paragraph four, that’s two gross understatements in one piece of writing…oh my…).
As one who is not needing to navigate any level of pressure about this up-coming Day for Mothers, I wanted to write to all who see the calendar date approaching and have a mixture of fear of ‘missing the mark’, a dread of some kind, and those things maybe mixed with a vague concern about a potential level of hurt that might land in them (however unintended that might be by the daughter or son or mother). It is also for those who are not comfortable with it for any of the 32,465+ reasons out there.
Some things to remember? Yep, always. Number 1: It’ll be all over with by Monday, so just keep breathing. Number 2: You can recover from your trials by observing “National Napping Day 2024” which lands on Monday 11th March 2024. Who knew?
It’s complicated for you? Yes, I don’t doubt it. Not for a second. But please see that your worth, value, or anything representing how you are appreciated by whoever for whatever is not rooted in some stupid day that was given a label for reasons my autistic mind will never fully grasp.
For a final bit of context, I did a little more scrolling through the special days in a year. There’s a ‘National Hug a Newsman Day’ on the 4th of April. Anyone see any issues (or even potential lawsuits) within that day? I think I’ll rest my case there and wish you all the very best as you navigate Sunday on Sunday. You manage it however you need to. You’ve got this. :)