FoMO
Do you suffer from it? If you do, when do you feel it the most? How do you avoid feeling it? How many of the people around you are feeling it too? Has it always been around in some form or other? I guess it has, although now we can have access to 'more', we can fear missing more via the web that is worldwide.
I don’t really get it, to be honest. If I’ve missed out, I’ve missed out and that’s (more often than not) a total relief to me. If I have a fear of anything like this, it is more likely to be a FoBT (Fear of Being There), wherever, ‘there’ is. If I’ve successfully missed out, it probably means I’ve managed to successfully side-step a chaotic or stressful social encounter, whether that be online, remote in another way or as part of some face-to-face human contact. However, this FoMO thing needs looking into. I’m a forever learner and I’m missing something about it, that’s for sure. I get that it has become a thing for some, but I don’t yet get why.
“Abstract. Fear of missing out (FoMO) is a unique term introduced in 2004 to describe a phenomenon observed on social networking sites. FoMO includes two processes; firstly, perception of missing out, followed up with a compulsive behaviour to maintain these social connections.” (National Institute of Health)
I’ve been thinking on it, wandering around (online) looking for it and observing the ‘ways of being’ of some on social media (in my very recent exposure to it).
This is what I think I’m seeing: Because, to feel valued, or know they matter, or have a place to belong, or a place where they feel they are of worth, many humans seem feel the need to be connected to other humans. But it’s more that that. The FoMO sufferer seems to need to be connected to not just any humans but those who have (for whatever reason) a level of status in the eyes of the FoMO sufferer. A connection is sought with the humans who are seen to be doing certain things in certain ways and have a certain look or vibe about them (context dependent on the FoMO sufferer’s starting point). Is that right?
If those ‘high-powered’ individuals (that is, ‘high-powered’ from the subjective stance of the FoMO sufferer) can back their status up with photographic evidence, especially of them with even higher profile humans, this seems to carry even more weight. Yes? Which then makes the FoMO sufferer more drawn to them. Yes? This then gives the higher-powered ones even more power, even though they are also playing the same game with those who exist on the more elevated stratospheres to them. Yes? And these all might be within (metaphorical) circles of people who are famous, or who are socially connected in whatever way at whatever time in whatever place. Yes?
A growing obsession can then expand with a seemingly never-ending need to know what ‘they’ are doing, where ‘they’ are, what ‘they’ said, what the reactions were of those who heard what ‘they’ said were and this process can go on and on. And it’s really important to have the most up-to-date information too, yes?
All of this (it seems) must be aligned with them (the FoMO sufferer) linking with the right kinds of posts on social media (publicly or in closed groups or on private threads). These posts need to be written or shared by those with whom they (the FoMO sufferer) are happy to be seen to be associating with (or think they should be seen to be associating with). They must also be funny enough (not sure who decides what is funny enough – maybe it’s the subjective FoMO sufferer or maybe it’s the one perceived as being above them in the non-real ranking system that in truth has no substance I can find hiding anywhere). The posts, alternatively, need to be thought-provoking enough. The FoMO sufferer is required to engage with these posts with likes or comments (which are more recognised by the masses if they match the humour or intellect of the original post maker). The FoMO sufferer knows they must also sometimes share the posts of others, so that the links they feel they need to be seen to be having are clear to those who they think need to see that.
Following successful navigation of these steps and processes, the FoMO sufferer (that being the human seeking additional connection with other humans who they feel the need to be connected to as a way of getting a sense of internal worth, even though they are already of as much worth as anyone else out there), then feels they have a higher status themselves because of their connection with the ‘elites’ and so they feel settled? It doesn’t seem so, no. Instead, there seems to be a trend to then need more of this, in more ways, with more elites. Oh my. How did we get here?!
It also seems to get further complicated by a growing need (for the FoMO sufferer) to maintain the now established (if flaky) status of connection and visibility with the ‘elites’. This sometimes seems to involve the need to know what the ‘elites’ are doing as soon as it is possible to know about it, or where they will be as soon as it is announced they’ll be there or to be in the know about the latest development in whatever field it is that’s relevant. This must be followed by some timely updates and posts by the FoMO sufferer so that they maintain these links with the ‘elites’.
Am I close to having any kind of handle on any of this, or am I looking at it weirdly? Who knows?
The fact that many of the ‘elites’ are (it seems) having to play their own game of being seen to be the best in their field, the most successful whatever/whoever, or the most popular band or artist of any description, well, to be honest, it’s enough (if exposed to it all for too much time) to make any of our brains explode. Isn’t it?
Oh my.