Weird?
Google, please define ‘weird’: “Strange or bizarre” (Oxford English Dictionary). Okay, define ‘strange’: “Unusual or surprising; difficult to understand or explain” (OED). And while you’re there, define bizarre: “Very strange or unusual”. Okay, so a synonym restatement. Fine.
As with most things, don’t these definitions simply raise more questions? If someone is strange (or has perceived strange views or behaviours), is it up to the view of the person who is making the judgement to decide what strange is? Also, on that matter, what is the opposite of strange? Seeing as that is likely to be ‘normal’, there’s a huge metaphorical wall of an issue.
I don’t believe (not even for a second) that when describing a human, there is such a thing as ‘normal’. How can there possibly be? There can’t. If we’re all unique, which we are, there isn’t a so-called ‘normal’ one among us. And really, that’s my starting point and finishing point.
I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that I could easily be described as weird. I think in ways that many would see as bizarre or strange. I have habits and ways of being that would be judged similarly. I have sensitivities that are viewed as being odd and these examples are not a comprehensive list of my ‘what could be described as weird’ traits. I am definitely weird. I’m cool with that. I stopped trying to be seen as non-weird when I realised my ‘weird’ is just who I am. It’s fine. My weird is just fine. I don’t need to magnify it to seem different to or more than other weirdos and I don’t need to lessen it to appease the ones who see themselves as non-weird. Weird just ‘is’ (maybe…more to come on that). Weird can ‘be’.
I (now) refuse to panic or fret about it as another label placed upon me by either those outside me or placed on me by me. It’s not going to harm me…in fact, it might be a label that is my friend.
Maybe stopping the pursuit of needing to be judged as being the same as others (and therefore non-weird) takes a whole heap of stress out of life. Maybe it stops at least some of the external pressure crowding in to make us believe we are not good enough or (I’m going to have to write it but as I’ve said, I don’t believe it’s a thing) we are not ‘normal enough’.
From my stance and vantage point, as I look out into life and the world as it is (in the tiny part of it where I have a measure of interaction and connection with other humans), I am seeing (and have seen) a lot of weird.
If I scan my internal database and consider every single human I have had any reasonable level of interaction or relationship with, there is not a single one who is not weird in one way of another. And by ‘weird’ in this context, I mean that each of them has their own ways of being, their own personality and they are the only them. They are weird.
What I find incredulous, is when those that are most different to me (and so from my perspective could be said to be the weirdest, if indeed one can rank levels of weird), seem to think they’re ‘normal’ and the ‘weird ones’ are somehow malfunctioning humans. Oh my.
I do maintain (as ever) that I realise I am only ever seeing a part of what ‘is’ and this perspective will be forever evolving and changing as I experience life and my brain continues to race at a million miles per hour inside my head (sorry if stats are wrong there – it was illustrative). However, with that in place, wouldn’t it be foolish and ridiculous to judge that all the other humans who are not like me must be therefore ‘weird’. That’s actually mad, isn’t it? Of course they’re not like me. Only I can be me like only you can be you.
When did ‘weird’ become an insult (I guess in the early days of its usage) when it was most often a way to differentiate and criticise another? Was it when fear of anyone ‘different to self’ became a realisation? Was it when people didn’t want to consider there are other ways of being, and other ways of experiencing life? Was it rooted in fear of the unknown or the ‘not easy to explain’ aspects of the life of another? In truth, I don’t know, and I guess none of us will ever know, but I do question this approach.
In the playground, it’s used as an insult as children learn to navigate life, and as they realise we’re not all the same. Yes, it can cause some damage at that hugely informative stage of life, but when looked back on from the position of ‘later in life’, it does demonstrate how young lives are trying to work out their place in the world. They’re trying to see whether there is a place for them. They also (often sub-consciously) are considering if they want to be grouped with others who are similar to them, so that they feel they belong and are somehow valued and accepted. That makes sense to my head as a natural learning process.
I’m just wondering why we, as adults, so often forget to move on from that child-like exploration. I’m wondering why we don’t realise we do belong by the very fact that we are here. Maybe, like so many things, it is simply rooted in our insecurity (that might be there for a whole plethora of differing reasons).
Maybe one day, we’ll be able to see self as ‘is’ and not worry too much about weird or non-weird or whatever other judgement we place on ourselves, or those that others place on us. I realise that’s simpler to write than to live, but it’s something I’m exploring. Is there yet progress? Maybe a little.
So, weird? Maybe. Maybe not. 🤷🏻♀️