There is a time for everything under heaven according to the biblical book of Ecclesiastes. I wonder if that includes there being a time to process via writing and a time not to. Or, maybe more accurately, is there a time for making public one’s processing via writing and a time not to? I’m not sure where the line is on that, so we’re going to ‘go there’ with the acknowledgement that I know I a...

When did much of life become topsy-turvy? I’ve made an observation that has been (I now realise) lurking internally for many years. Following the potential revelation (if indeed it is a revelation), I have (as is my ‘norm’) been carrying out my own research, in the best ways I know how, regarding the observation in an attempt to check if there might be any validity in it. Factoring in the reali...

Sometimes, it’s a great idea. If a journey can be shortened, why not take the shortcut? It seems perfectly logical and sensible. If something can be achieved quickly via some kind of quick route, surely that too is often a good thing. What about the mentality of always needing to find a shortcut, though? What if we fall into that trap? I’ve been observing and wondering (simultaneously) what ha...

I tried it. Having recently self-published my book, I knew (from my research) that no one would know about the book unless it came from any promotion I did myself. That was one reason for beginning the social media experiment. The other reason was to ‘spread the message’. What message? That whatever we struggle with, whatever labels we wear, whatever difficulties we encounter for whatever reaso...

You’re not sure if you want the Lego set? Surely, you want the Lego set. Some might suggest that there’s no point or purpose in Lego and it’s a waste of money? Okay, let’s run with that it is. One issue with that stance is that inevitably one must (through any logic or sense of any kind) conclude that anything we buy (other than that which facilitates the continuation of life) is a waste of mon...

In our own deluded minds, we speak and act and behave as if we are somehow ‘right’. Our ability to take advice from anyone at all (whatever their experience or expertise) is so limited it is almost non-existent. I guess this is different if our aim is to emulate them (the one giving advice) in some way or get whatever it is they seem to have…but unless that’s the case, there seems to me to be a...

Humans need to belong. We might attempt to not engage with others sometimes (especially us autistically wired types), but what is irrefutable (strong word, but I think it’s appropriate here) is that humans gravitate towards linking (in some way) with other humans. We find ways to belong, even if that might be by attempting to not need to belong (which itself becomes a belonging, weirdly, maybe)...

“What is in it for me-ism?” It resides in many places, doesn’t it? It presents itself in the form of many spoken and unspoken questions, from “How will that affect me?”, to “What will I get out of it?”, to “Will I be more financially stable if this happens?”, to “Will the things I think are important be prioritised?”, to “Will I be better off (and I mean in whatever way: financially, in terms ...

A dictionary definition of ‘urgent’ is this: ‘requiring immediate action or attention’. Seemingly, it began life as an adjective to describe whatever it added importance to, and still it is used as such. However, it feels to me that it has also taken on attributes of being more noun-like (which I guess it is anyway when used as ‘urgency’). It (the urgent) seems to have morphed into a thing of s...

Have you found that the autist you know can be (when in a particular zone of self) quirky and amusing without trying to be so? Yes, quite possibly. Maybe even, quite probably. I’m wondering if it’s more of a thing than I’ve previously given it credit. Several years ago, Mike told me I should do a stand-up routine. I (in all honesty) had no idea what he was going on about, but he was quite pers...

Writing (even for a short time) without the proof-reader who gives me direct, sometimes brutal and yet kind feedback, and who manages that process in a way that didn’t result in me having any kind of meltdown is going to be a challenge. But there we are. It is what it is. So, I’d best try getting on with it. He'll only be gone for a bit. It does make me wonder something. Do we need to edit our...

We’ve (likely) been (to use a term borrowed from elsewhere) ‘confunded’. I suppose I had (if I’m honest, which I try to be) kind of sensed this before now. And, if I pause to think on it, this is not at all a fully new thought in my mind. However, when a pre-part-thought-through thought re-emerges with additional clarity, what is one to do with it? If the ‘one’ in question is me, I guess the an...

Is it (getting old) to do with age alone? Obviously, there will be (potentially) some physical aspects of ageing that mean adjustments to ‘being older’ are unavoidable, but do we sometimes compound that by thinking like an older person? Is it possible to make ourselves (without intending to) act and behave in older ways than are necessary? If it is possible to do that, do we do it largely becau...

It’s tricky writing about education, I’ve decided. As soon as an opinion is cited, it kind of becomes political, doesn’t it? And as soon as that happens, strong opinions and judgements kick in, whether founded on experience of working in a school (which will (of course) be different to that of another experience of working in a different school) or of attending a school (which, let’s face it, t...

I said quite a bit concerning these ‘special days’ when it was the Day for Fathers last year, but the thing is bubbling again. And I guess there is a slightly different weighting to this one as me going on about the Day for Fathers is relevant to me in that I have one, but I am not one. However, concerning the Day for Mothers, I have one AND I am one. So, are my views different now it ‘should’ ...

There is now. So, why do so many of us either (perpetually or for various life seasons) live with a focus on what was, or what we think ‘should’ be? Why do humans spend so much energy mentally (and emotionally) replaying things that caused harm (for whatever reason or in whatever way, even if that harm was fully unintentional by those people who seemed to be responsible – from the perspective o...

I realise that, probably, if asked, most people would agree that we need to be careful when giving advice to anyone about anything. It’s logical and sensible to suggest such a ‘care’, isn’t it? And yet, are we full of care when we advise (I include myself, although I am shifting in how I do it having noticed what I was doing)? I’m (more and more) thinking, it’s not carefully considered advice t...

The ‘joys’ of this are a whole new thing. I’ve decided (at least for the number of minutes I am going to be sitting at my MacBook…I used to be a PC girl, but I’ve been converted… and for as long as I am writing this) that we’re going to focus on the almost light-hearted and the mildly amusing (this is self-therapy as much as the sharing of self-therapy strategies). Woven within the intended alm...

I don’t mean our literal sight, although for some, I imagine that is also a strength. (It isn’t for me as I wear varifocals (in case you needed to know, which I realise you don’t, but I’ve told you anyway). Varifocals are annoyingly unhelpful when trying to read music, especially when playing the piano. Basically, I need them (the glasses) up the other way to the way they are…but as they (whoev...

We’ve (likely) all lived them in one context or another, but now I’m less active in a world where they were as ‘normal’ for me as any other thing that is/was normal for me, I have questions about them. Yep, here we go. She’s going to rant. People gather to (usually) work through a pre-decided agenda. The people in the room (literal or virtual) have a level of connection (however small or great...

Is it true that what we focus on somehow grows in our world view? I reckon that it might be. I know that in a classroom, if the teacher focusses primarily on poor behaviour choices, those seem to spread like an infectious disease around the room without the need for a particular trigger. I’ve caught myself doing that on days when I’ve been frustrated or under pressure or have felt I’ve not deli...

I thought I'd try and see if anyone would be willing to publish my writings. In my search for places to 'go' (via the vehicle of email), I approached The Art of Autism, having written a piece I knew was linked to foci they had up-coming. It is all about the pursuit of peace (as will be obvious by the title above 🤦🏻‍♀️) and you can read it by visiting their site as you click here.

There’s a lot of self-doubt that you (as human and maybe even more so as autist human) try to manage, yes? There’s a fair amount of second-guessing about your actions and definitely concerning the actions of others, yes? This is also often enhanced with a propensity for (what some might say is) over-dramatisation, yes? And there’s frequently a splattering of over-reaction thrown in for good mea...

Google, please define ‘weird’: “Strange or bizarre” (Oxford English Dictionary). Okay, define ‘strange’: “Unusual or surprising; difficult to understand or explain” (OED). And while you’re there, define bizarre: “Very strange or unusual”. Okay, so a synonym restatement. Fine. As with most things, don’t these definitions simply raise more questions? If someone is strange (or has perceived stran...

Following a few more minutes of her weaving in and out of his legs, I did let Raffie into the house for some Rabbit Respite. He likes Pepper, but not as much as she likes him. These two have their way of interacting and it is what it is. I love to watch them. What is it about our pets that can be so ridiculously powerful? Why are they able to have such a significant place in our lives? Wh...

In December 2021, I managed to get a modest (but I consider beautiful) little house, purchased with a 27-year term mortgage, secured by the income from the job I now don’t have in the area where my job was and where I am now not. During the last period where people stopped buying houses (at the end of 2022), I couldn’t sell it because there were no buyers. So, I took the decision to let it out,...

Before we even begin with this little thought exploration, the context is that I did and have left. This ‘writing’ is not primarily about my ‘story’, although aspects of that will inevitably seep in as we go. This is more an intent on the creation of a (kind of) space to consider some matters related to some aspects of what it is to leave the profession. I’ve read writings by people who have d...

I’m not sure if marching is quite right, but in a sense it’s probably in the mix there somewhere. There is a certain determination and drive inside many of us autists about justice (and maybe it’s in more than ‘many of us’) which could be associated with the action of marching. A purposeful movement in a clear direction with the aimed-at destination being what is (from our perspective) right an...

This isn’t an attempt at glossing over or avoiding the less than best bits of being an autist. Not at all. No way would I ever attempt to do that or consider that to be in any way worthwhile as an aim. Neither do I consider it a worthy attempted distraction from the less than best bits of being an autist, however, it can, maybe (on a good day), run alongside the less than best bits of being an ...

Do you suffer from it? If you do, when do you feel it the most? How do you avoid feeling it? How many of the people around you are feeling it too? Has it always been around in some form or other? I guess it has, although now we can have access to 'more', we can fear missing more via the web that is worldwide. I don’t really get it, to be honest. If I’ve missed out, I’ve missed out and that’s (...

Desensitisation: “to make emotionally insensitive or callous. specifically: to extinguish an emotional response (as of fear, anxiety, or guilt) to stimuli that formerly induced it.” (Merriam-Webster Dictionary) It is a thing that exists in this world with both positive and questionable outcomes, like so many other things, isn’t it? I consider that I must expose myself to some situations, expe...

It took me several days to even set up the social media pages on both Facebook and Instagram. I realise that’s ridiculous, but it doesn’t make it any less true. And having achieved two posts on each, I’m exhausted. Physically and mentally exhausted. It feels as if that should be too much truth to admit outside of myself because of how ridiculous it is, but if I’m being real (with you and with m...

The Oxford English Dictionary (OED) describes it as “emotional support or encouragement”. Some speak affirmations to themselves to counteract negative thinking patterns or give themselves a boost to help them move towards achieving aims they have for themselves. There may be some positive outcomes because of that approach if it’s rooted in things that are true. Some parents ensure they affirm...

It’s always better for me (and my mindset) when I manage to eat only the foods that I know don’t cause me to inflate like a 5-month-old pregnant woman. There is also wisdom (I’ve discovered) in ensuring I don’t drink too much coffee either. I know this. Do I want to look like a 5-month pregnant woman? No, not whilst not pregnant. Whilst pregnant? Yes, of course. Whilst not pregnant? No. Do I ha...

I’m not sure when it became a thing that we were told by the ‘someones’ who begin such foci that we must value and appreciate diversity as if diversity were something newly discovered by the enlightened and wise ones. When did that happen? Also, while I’m at the question asking thing, why did that happen? Was it as a direct consequence of the ‘someones’ noticing a growing lack of tolerance of ...

Are they welcomed because they signal an imminent connection with another human or an organisation about which we have an interest? Is it that the internal positive message we receive just by the very act of being contacted by someone (about whatever it is they are contacting us) makes us feel valued? How addictive is the dopamine hit of affirmation received when that’s what the message contain...

Is it a dangerous pursuit? I guess it can be if one is attacked (via whatever means) for learning to decipher what one thinks about anything via the process of writing when any conclusions reached (however temporary) conflict with the views of another. I guess then there could be fallout that might injure or harm, visibly or in ways more hidden. We are all allowed to learn what we think or what...

Is it? Theirs, I mean? Does it belong to them? I don’t know. Jury is out on that. Also, yes, I know, the apostrophe looks wrong. And if I were writing about my own dad’s day, it would be wrong, but as this is about the multiple fathers out there (and as they don’t have a collective noun), I’ve placed the apostrophe where I have. I’m sure we’ll all manage to breathe through that. Won’t we? And y...